I went into Ironman New Zealand feeling like a D list celebrity . I had done a few things in racing I was happy with in the past, but nothing recent. I still think I’m awesome and capable, but nobody is concerned when my name is on the start list now. It is a rough life people! Ironman New Zealand was going to be my new start, to reveal to everybody that I’m the athlete I think I’m capable of. I wanted top 4 or I was done.
This post is a very tough one to write, because in Ironman every second really does count. Think about it. If you aim to beat the old you by one second over every minute and you race over 10 hours…That’s 10 minutes. I can’t stop going over situations and how I maybe should have reacted. But it is all gone now. The prep was the best I had ever done. However, on that day, I just was not good enough to deliver what I still think I’m capable of (that is what hurts and haunts me the most). Not sure what is next. But I have had a hell of great ride the past 7 years. I lived to fullest, trained bloody hard, raced like crap, but met some the greatest people who I call friends today through this triathlon journey. We really do have great community within the sport.
Huge congrats to Cameron Brown and Meredith Kessler for their dominating performances. These are two top notch athletes who I have been grateful to know and call friends. Also want to give a huge thanks to Terenzo and Kelly Bozzone for their hospitality during our training camp. You guys are amazing! The training camp meant more to me than you know. Thanks T.
So instead of a report I’m just going say what I learned after realizing I wasn’t going to meet my goal. You might even take some of this with you heading into your next Ironman. I’m going to take these lessons to life.
At 150km on the bike and around 30-35km on the run, you begin to suffer or question yourself about why they are doing this. This is when you enter into “the darkness”. This is were your character is really tested. You have to be able to find away to get out of this or it can ruin your race. You can’t stop, you have to continue hurting until you finish the job. You get to choice what you think and believe on course. It can be very easy to give up and not give your best when things are going your way. Most people in life respect and notice those who get done during the tough times.
Bad races are tough to handle for everybody. I might have even got a bunch of sun screen in my eyes because some tears were shed. However, once you finish the race and arrive home with nobody around you, you are going to have to look at yourself and answer to yourself…
Did I honestly give it all and fight as hard as I could despite everything going wrong?
Even though the race went south, I pushed as hard as I could. When the watts were 140-150, I kept turning the pedals. When fell on the run, I kept one foot in front of another. The last 1.5km took me 45 minutes to complete. With 10-15 people walking and cheering me all the way to the finish.
If you can say you focused on yourself and your race,
If you can say you chased every second to the best of your ability,
If you can say you stuck it out despite everything going against you……You have done a bloody good job